Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Who Really Cares That You Think You're Entitled?

I might get a little unpopular right now.

Good thing I don't really care anymore.

You see, I've been on this truth seeking quest and I've come up with a whole lot of stuff that I feel needs to get off my chest.

You ready?

Quick note of disclosure, these "truths" are mine and mine alone.  I'm not publicizing them so that you'll start thinking like me or acting like me.  I just trying to keep an open line of communication and if you'd like to disagree with me, I'd personally love that.

That means that you have both a pulse and a backbone.

I think we'll get along just fine...

I digress.

There's been a lot of crap that's been going on lately.  Regardless of how you feel about the government, the economy, your life in general, this rant is not about any of those.

This rant is about me and it's about you and this pesky little habit that has me climbing the walls and wanting to rip my hair out.

Okay, your hair out too.

It's call entitlement.

Meaning that any or all of us feel like we are entitled or deserve something just because.

Just because we're alive, just because we've worked, are working or are currently not working.

Just because we're citizens, we're old, we're young, we're pretty, we're ugly, we're different, we're a minority, we're part of the majority, because no one likes us, because life isn't fair, etc, etc, etc.

Seriously people, wake up.

The whole world is screwed up and by adding in your entitlement issues, we're not going to make it better any time soon.

I used to think that I was deserving of some things.  I've been a good daughter, did well in school, behaved myself and played the role of the good girl.

Thing is, today, that doesn't get you anywhere.

You could've played by all the rules and still end up in last place.

I'm not saying it's a bad place to be in right now, but it is time to open up our eyes and see the bigger picture.

We are not all wine and roses right now.

Even if you haven't really felt the effects of what's going on in the world right now, you will eventually because there is no way you can stay immune to it.

Unless you live on the top of some mountain somewhere and if that's the case, let me know if you have any vacancies.

I'm not saying any of this to scare you or to make you think that you don't deserve things in life.  You most absolutely do.

My point is that you might have to be the one to go out there and make things happen, get the ball rolling and perhaps, get up off your butt and stop putting your hand out.

If you expect people to always give to you without you ever putting anything back, then I suspect that you are in line for a very rude awakening.

Sorry I had to break it to you this way, but it's seriously been driving me up the wall.

Comments, please share.

You disagree, great, let me know and we'll start a conversation.  If you are purposely mean-spirited, cruel or not adding anything of value, I reserve the right to not accept your post.  If that happens, please try again.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

There is no Guarantee

Buckle your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

I know you've all heard those words before, but now more than ever, I think we need to buckle up and maybe even put on a helmet.

It's been quite a year so far and we haven't even hit the end of January yet.

We've been iundated with pictures, videos and sound bytes of natural disasters, of people made disasters and of everything in between.

We've also seen amazing and beautiful things happen, but those tend to get overshadowed in the news.

Good news doesn't really make the news, unless it's a slow day.

It's not flashy or cool to hear about good news, that is, unless bad news brought it about in the first place.

Maybe I'm a little cynical but something really should be done about that.

Let me describe to you what I've seen over the last few weeks.

I've seen extreme sadness, happiness, despair and celebration

I've seen tears of joy and pain during a marathon.

I've seen fear in a wife's eyes as she watches her husband fall to the ground & be taken away in an ambulance.

I've seen fear, hunger and hopelessness on the news as stories of death, stories of births and stories of rescue flood the news after the earthquake(s) in Haiti.

But then I've also seen cruelty, impatience and disdain in the faces and actions of everyday people.  Their anger is palatable and makes me cringe.

Why are they so angry?  What has happened to make them feel that way and then act out like a spoiled toddler whose favorite toy got taken away for hitting his little brother?

Why can't they see all the suffering in the world and just let it go?

They don't have the raw deal.  They don't have the suffering that I've seen as they drive away, tank full of gas in their BMW- hey, they say, it's only a 2008.

Get real people. 

Yours is not the life of suffering that you make it out to be.

There are people out there who have way less than any of us yet are happier than most of us.


Because they have their priorities straight.

They know that tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

They know that it's just as likely for them to not see the next sunrise as it is that they will.

So they focus on what is important.

What is it?

The here and now.

Right now, they take advantage of the breathing, seeing, hearing, tasting and touching that they are able to.

Right now they are grateful for whatever they have been given and whatever they have been blessed with.

They are not cursing out their neighbor for not cutting their lawn.

They're not flipping off the guy in front of them for cutting them off.

They are spending time with their loved ones.  They are working when they have to and they are grateful.


There is no security for some.

But they make the most of each and every day.

We sit and complain that the price of gas has gone up.

It has and that sucks, but let's get real.

What is really important?

What have we lost touch of?

What is it that we can reclaim as our own and what is it that we can do to start making the most of every single day?

Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

But today is.

You still have 100% of this moment, right now, to do whatever it is that you want to do.

You can take the time to complain or you can use the time to make a difference- no matter how small or insignificant you think it may be.

But the thing is that you got up off your butt and did something.

Words & thoughts are just that until you put them into action.


Simple word, we learn it when we're little but how many people can actually grasp the heaviness of that word.

You've got to show up, you've got to take action, you've got to actually do something.

So why this, why now?

I'm tired of all the complaining.  I'm tired of hearing that this or that is responsible for your life situation.

You are the ONLY one responsible for where you are and for who you are.  Stop blaming your genetics, your parents, your partner or loved ones.  It's all YOU.

Take responsibility and see what you can do with it. 

If you need help, just ask.  There are so many of us out there that are more than willing to help, that want to help, that feel called to help.

I'm not tired of helping people.  I never will be BUT I want to encourage you to take action, to do something other than just spit out rhetoric and pretend that waxing poetic about a bad situation will just make it better because you "thought" about it.

You are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Only right now is guaranteed.

Live you life with no regrets.  If you already have them, then do something about them.  It's never too late.  It's never over when the fat lady sings.

The time for action is now.  The time for living is now.

What will you do?  Will you own this moment or will you let it own you?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's Not Really The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

I've been doing something lately that has been super unproductive. 

I've been getting these thoughts that just nag me.  Not just a little nagging, but over and over and over again.

I say, just write it down, the voices will stop :  )

So here goes, as a human being and as an entrepreneur, I've noticed all the craziness that goes on around the holidays.

The holidays are over you say.  I say no!

There is still one more holiday before we are free and clear of the winter holiday nightmares- Valentine's day!

Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays.  I have nothing against food, drinks, trees, candles, singing, family gatherings and the like but there has been something about the holidays that has been just bugging me to no end.

We've all heard the talk about the economy.  I've promised myself to not quantify it as bad, good, or whatever.  It just is.

I admit that there are people suffering through this economy.  There are people who are suffering through this weather.  There are people who suffer through the holidays. 

BUT even though there is so much going on, there is this underlying pressure to give and not just to give of yourself and your time, but to give of your resources that you may or may not have.

Meaning, you are almost forced even though I should use the word encouraged to over-spend, to over-eat, to over-drink, to over-holiday yourself until you are shaking from it all come January 2nd.

No wonder so many people hide themselves away over the holidays.  I was tempted to do that this year and Christmas is one of my most favorite times of the year.


There is too much pressure.  There is too much expected from family members, from friends, from significant others.  Just way too much.

I had 3 holiday parties in one day.  Seriously.  I made it to 2 of them and then had to put myself under house arrest for the rest of the season. 

It took too much out of me to give and give and give and give. 

It wasn't about the money.  It wasn't that I didn't want to spend my time, but there was just so much build-up to the season that my body and my soul just couldn't take it.

And now we're winding our way towards Valentine's Day which if you ask me is unfairly placed after the New Year just to torment people.

There are too many expectations.  He should be doing this.  She should be doing that.

Come on people!

Wake up!

Doesn't it ever just get to be too much?

When did spending time with your family, friends and loved ones become not enough?

That was my biggest wish for the holidays, for the new year, for Valentine's day.

I wish for time well spent and well enjoyed with those that I treasure the most.

I wish for you, the same.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Happy Coincidences

I like to think of happy coincidences as those moments in your life that just seem to fit in perfectly regardless of whether or not you knew they were coming.

I could even use the word kismet. Not quite fate, but more like everything is as it should be. You should be exactly where you are right now. You should be exactly who you are right now. The people and situations in your life are exactly as they should be right now.

Everything is perfect.

I'll use myself as an example.

I've always felt drawn to "New Age" type stuff. I use quotation marks because what really is new age? New age is old stuff, just new again because fresh eyes are finally open to it. Regardless...

I was the kid who dragged her parents into the health food store at age 8, completely spellbound by all the cool foods, spices and things that I couldn't pronounce. That was just what I liked.

I wanted to try veggie burgers before they were cool or even accepted.

I never questioned why or how the thought of health food stores appeared in my young brain, but I just knew that that was something that was me.

Fast forward 20 years and now I work in holistic health and nutrition. The once odd ball desire of mine to head off to a health food store is accepted as normal and the word "organic" is widespread and over-used.

Why is this a happy coincidence?

Because it was the beginning of an enlightening journey for me that brought me to the present moment.

Without that childhood desire, I don't think I would have started to re-learn about the things I loved as a child.

I always felt like I was a different child. Danced to the beat of my own drummer, so to speak.

I conformed, like a good kid, but somehow always kept at least a little of what made me unique.

But, like most adults, I became a product of my situations and life experiences and I forgot who I was at my core. I let myself get caught up in things that never deserved the years I gave them, let alone any time at all.

But that was perfect for me. I needed those experiences to be able to re-open my eyes to the coincidences that are happening all over my life now. Only now can I appreciate all the blessings that I have been given.

So I call them happy coincidences.

You may think of it as just strange coincidences. Like when you're thinking of someone or something and that person calls or the thing you were thinking of appears.

You might scratch your head and wonder what just happened, but I like to think that it meant to happen that way.

If we didn't think of coincidences are happy or good, then we would miss out someone or something really great. We can learn a lot from the experiences in our lives, but we need to keep an open mind and an open heart to do that.

It can be a lot harder than it seems.

So, try it today.

Keep an open mind and when you meet someone new or someone not so new, when you have a new experience or go through a particular situation, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this person, this place, this experience? What can I take out of this that is good and beneficial to me? How can I encourage things like this to continue happening OR how can I discourage this?

You have the choice. You decide how you are going to deal with all the happy coincidences that happen in your life.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Choices We Make Are More Important Than We May Have Ever Thought

For the last week or so, I've been having some very interesting conversations around the idea of "Choice."

We are all intelligent people so it shouldn't be a foreign concept when I say that we all have the capacity to choose everything in our life. Almost like a short order cook, our choices can immediately influence our surroundings and our current situation.

This sounds like it could be horrible, right?

Well, yes and no.

Being able to consciously make our own choices and decide for ourselves who and what we spend our time, money and energy on will, in effect, put all the responsibility of how and why our life plays out the way it does on us, YOU specifically.

We, therefore, cannot blame anyone else for how our life is going- not considering events and natural disasters outside of our normal control.

So what does that mean?

That means that I cannot blame you for me having a bad day. That also means that you cannot take credit for when something good happens in my life.

See how that works?

We create our lives with our choices so now the time has arrived for you to finally claim your life as your own.

You can say that your life is not your own- you have a family, you have a job or career (there is a difference), you have responsibilites, you have things that you HAVE to do.

I don't agree.

I believe that all of the above "limitations" are merely the residual effects of choices that we have made in the past.

Yes, you have a family. You chose, either consciously or not, to have that family and all that goes along with it.

Yes, you have a job or career, once again, you made that choice to have one because you wanted something or you were told it was what you HAD to do.

It all goes back to what you want to do, what you want to be and what you want to have.

You make the choice.

It is your decision.

It is your life.

It is time to reclaim the power of creating your life with the decisions that will take you from where you are now to where you'd like to be.

There's a problem though.

You have already put yourself onto a specific track. You have set course in a particular direction and are steadily plodding along towards that end point.

How do you get off?

Bad news- you don't.

Good news- it's never too late to make different decisions.

This makes me think of the movie "Groundhog Day." Bill Murray keeps making the same choices, the same decisions day after day, week after week and all he gets is the same exact thing he got the day before.

Does this sound familar to any of you?

You do the same thing, you get the same result.


Is that the life you want for yourself?

Yes, perfect! Keep going!

No? Good, make the change now. You already know how.

Once Bill Murray was willing to change his usual routine, deviate from his everyday choices, then he was able to change the outcome.

What you need to do is to become more aware of your choices.

If you live your life without looking around, you will never see all the options open to you.

Likewise if you go through life with blinders on. You might miss the next greatest thing just because it was off the beaten path or just out of your line of vision.

So make your choices, but once you make them, own them.

Use your choices and decisions to create the life you really want. Or use them to create the life that someone else believes you should have.

This is your life. Live it the way you want, after all, it's all up to you.

It's in your hands. Choose wisely.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Thoughts on a Monday Morning

I celebrated my 31st birthday about a week and a half ago and I have to say that with the new year added to my age, I feel like I've been granted a little more wisdom.

Ah, yes, the joy of getting older and finally understanding more of the world around me.

But I've been doing a lot of thinking, a good amount of clearing and cleaning and seeing things in my life a little bit more clearly.

I also tend to feel that exercise helps me to think as well, maybe that's why I like marathons so much. I feel like I can go through the full range of my emotions through 26.2 miles. Maybe I should be counting how many times throughout the run I feel like jumping for joy, crying my eyes out or wanting to scratch someone's eyes out. I wish I was joking. : )

But I've learned that the little things in life are going to be the pieces of my life that are going to make the most difference.

Let me break that down.

I'm thinking that making a difference in other's peoples lives is going to be more important to me than anything else.

It's not going to be just about the dollar signs or just about who likes me for this or for that, but rather how I made them feel or how I made an impact on them.

So I know that I need to focus on things that are not going to benefit just me, but as many people as I can possibly reach out to.

Just some thoughts for today.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Vacation Musings...

After a much needed vacation, I returned to New York rested and a little saner but also with a lot on my mind. I guess when the body and the mind get a chance to slow down, you start to notice things that perhaps you've gotten too used to.

Just a quick background info- my mom took a little tumble in the backyard and ended up injured. Not the best scenario for a vacation but also the best prescription for the two of us. With her out of commission, we were forced to slow down considerably and have a little more R&R than perhaps we would have.

Enter the wheelchair and cane.

I have always thought of myself as a fairly tolerant and considerate person. I believe that my parents taught me the best they could have and I am very grateful for that.

BUT I feel like there are people on this planet who have not been blessed with the same education.

I met some of the most helpful and considerate people over the last few weeks. I am really grateful to them for taking some of the pressure off of me- most of it self-induced I admit.

I hate seeing the people I love in any sort of pain. I hate seeing the look on their face when they just can't help themselves in the same ways that they are used to.

Getting ourselves in and out of cars, planes, elevators and cruise ships was a challenge for sure. I am surprised by the reaction of other people while witnessing my experience.

Just to vent for a moment- the complete lack of regard for someone in a wheelchair amazes me. Why do you need to ram your oversized suitcases into an elevator without looking to see where you're aiming your bag? Perhaps there is someone in a wheelchair sitting there with knees braces and ankle braces that could perhaps be in your line of attack? Perhaps your patience has been earned, if not given willingly, just because someone can't move as fast as you'd like them to. Perhaps you could give up that "go, go go" mentality for just a moment as someone tries to do something for themselves that they haven't been able to. Perhaps you could put aside the pushing and shoving just for a little bit. Perhaps you could say please, thank you or any of the other trivial "common" everyday sayings that we all take for granted.

I saw all of this over my vacation and some or most directed towards myself or my mom. Having her slow down forced me to slow down. I needed it so much more than she did. I had to put aside my own agenda of constant movement, constant action, I need to be here, I need to do that mentality.

I also did see an amazing amount of kindess and that was also something that I really needed to see and something that I need to embrace myself.

As much as it saddened me to be on the receiving end of some unkindness and intolerance, it really opened my eyes. I needed to see all of this and I needed to learn how to buffer myself from it and not be nearly as sensitive. It's not a personal affront. Some people just don't know any better.

My job now is to open up just a few more pairs of eyes and maybe make things a little bit easier for someone else. Life is hard enough for all of us, we could do a little something to make someone else's journey a little smoother.

Just my two cents...