Sunday, October 19, 2008

Vacation Musings...

After a much needed vacation, I returned to New York rested and a little saner but also with a lot on my mind. I guess when the body and the mind get a chance to slow down, you start to notice things that perhaps you've gotten too used to.

Just a quick background info- my mom took a little tumble in the backyard and ended up injured. Not the best scenario for a vacation but also the best prescription for the two of us. With her out of commission, we were forced to slow down considerably and have a little more R&R than perhaps we would have.

Enter the wheelchair and cane.

I have always thought of myself as a fairly tolerant and considerate person. I believe that my parents taught me the best they could have and I am very grateful for that.

BUT I feel like there are people on this planet who have not been blessed with the same education.

I met some of the most helpful and considerate people over the last few weeks. I am really grateful to them for taking some of the pressure off of me- most of it self-induced I admit.

I hate seeing the people I love in any sort of pain. I hate seeing the look on their face when they just can't help themselves in the same ways that they are used to.

Getting ourselves in and out of cars, planes, elevators and cruise ships was a challenge for sure. I am surprised by the reaction of other people while witnessing my experience.

Just to vent for a moment- the complete lack of regard for someone in a wheelchair amazes me. Why do you need to ram your oversized suitcases into an elevator without looking to see where you're aiming your bag? Perhaps there is someone in a wheelchair sitting there with knees braces and ankle braces that could perhaps be in your line of attack? Perhaps your patience has been earned, if not given willingly, just because someone can't move as fast as you'd like them to. Perhaps you could give up that "go, go go" mentality for just a moment as someone tries to do something for themselves that they haven't been able to. Perhaps you could put aside the pushing and shoving just for a little bit. Perhaps you could say please, thank you or any of the other trivial "common" everyday sayings that we all take for granted.

I saw all of this over my vacation and some or most directed towards myself or my mom. Having her slow down forced me to slow down. I needed it so much more than she did. I had to put aside my own agenda of constant movement, constant action, I need to be here, I need to do that mentality.

I also did see an amazing amount of kindess and that was also something that I really needed to see and something that I need to embrace myself.

As much as it saddened me to be on the receiving end of some unkindness and intolerance, it really opened my eyes. I needed to see all of this and I needed to learn how to buffer myself from it and not be nearly as sensitive. It's not a personal affront. Some people just don't know any better.

My job now is to open up just a few more pairs of eyes and maybe make things a little bit easier for someone else. Life is hard enough for all of us, we could do a little something to make someone else's journey a little smoother.

Just my two cents...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

When Friends become your Family

I've been toying around with this idea for a while. I kept thinking, yes, let me write about this now. Or no, it's not quite time yet.

But the truth comes out that this is much harder to broach than I had originally thought.

I have a wonderful family. My mom is close by in both location and heart. My brothers and their families are not so close in distance and although, we don't always see eye to eye, we always have each other's best interests at heart.

But what happens in between all the family time?

You work, you play. You spend time in places where your family is not.

I don't know where I read the statistics, but we spend more time at work than we do at home. How scary is that? No matter how hard we try, we often end up spending more time with our co-workers than we do with our loved ones.

This can be a challenging situation for some, as it was for me in the beginning.

On the outside looking in, we are as different as different can be. Our cultures are different. We had different degrees of education, majors, family situations, siblings, places of birth. You name the difference and we had it.

However, if you open up your heart and allow the differences to take on a lesser importance, then you find that you are really not all the different from the people you work with.

As much as I've thought about it, my co-workers have really become my brothers and my sisters. We've got each others best interests at heart, much like my own brothers have.

It's a very interesting situation because by not being related by blood, you are more open to sharing your opinion and being open about your past. There is no pre-existing knowledge of a shared childhood. They are seeing through your eyes and are able to add their own knowledge of their own childhood into yours. They can help to color your memories with a brighter and more vibrant spin than perhaps you were able to give it yourself.

The best thing that you walk away with is a larger support network of people who know you, who love you and accept you exactly the way you are.

You can choose your friends. You cannot choose your family.

You cannot choose your co-workers but you can choose to have them become friends.

I feel very lucky to have a group of people who know me and understand me (sometimes more than others) but still love me unconditionally and wish me the best.

So this can be challenging to write about. How do you put into words the gratitude you have for people who you spend so much time with, who you can't escape from but yet who you have no real ties to other than the shared experience of your workplace?

You really can't. But the opinions they have of you, if you're ever lucky to hear them, is perhaps higher than the one you have for yourself.

"Don't mistake her kindness for weakness."

"You are destined for greater things, I can just feel it."

I am so very grateful to have them in my life. I couldn't have chosen better.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Nature of Passion

Okay, so before you think this is some post about sex and sexuality, it's not.

I want to address the topic of passion and I mean more about passion for life.

A few months back I was driving down the East Side of Manhattan and when I hit the point where the Harlem River Drive becomes the FDR- right under the Triboro Bridge- I saw a familiar face.

After many years of driving through rush hour traffic, I've come to recognize some fixtures on the highway. It's not uncommon for me to see the same drivers, in the same cars, driving at the same time from week to week.

One of these fixtures is a, let's call him artist/poet, Otis Houston. The only reason I even know his name is because he posts signs pointing you to google him or check him out on myspace, or small poems or words of wisdom.

Sometimes its his form of performance art. There is usually some sort of fruit involved, like watermelon. You'll see a little more of him here.

http://thewinger.com/words/category/black-cherokee/

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=341712841

Even though he catches my eye every day I see him, there was one day that stuck out moreso than others.

On one day, he had posted a sign that I will never forget.

"Don't ration your passion."

Simple, right?

It's not just about the words. If you think about what he was saying with that sign is that you shouldn't hold yourself back.

We are in a society where we are always, even painfully, politically correct. Why?

Who are we helping by not being honest with ourselves? Who are we helping by holding back who or what we are?

Read this, it could change your life.


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others..."

-- Marianne Williamson


So think again what it is that you do with your passion? Are you hiding it? Are you making the most of it?

My question is- can you do more with it?

Are you living your life's purpose or are you hiding it because you don't think you'll be loved or accepted?

I've made the decision that I am going to be my beautiful, wonderful authentic self. I am not afraid of succeeding in my chosen field. I am already successful. I am already embracing my passion.

Free yourself. Live your passion. Live your life.

Or in the words of Otis Houston, "Don't ration your passion."

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Master Cleanse

Have you ever heard of the Master Cleanse?

It is a somewhat severe cleanse that is designed to help loosen up your digestive system, clear you out and leave you with more energy, better digestion and an overall better sense of physical well-being.

Well.

The last time that I went on the Master Cleanse, I spent 10 days drinking my lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water mixture. I felt pretty good until about the 8th day. I know now that 10 days for me is too much.

When I decided to do the cleanse again for 3 days, I figured, no problem!

I made it just over a day and a half. I wasn't into it. I knew that I was going to be hungry the first day as my body transitioned to a liquid diet. My energy wasn't off really. My mood was good. But my brain wasn't into it. So I stopped.

I try to explain to my clients that deciding what you need to eat is such a highly individualized thing that it changes all the time. I can't give someone a super specific diet that they will follow for the next month, season, year because it just won't work.

The recipe for the Master Cleanse does not change.

My body, however, does.

I don't feel like a failure that I wasn't able to do my 3 days. I'm actually really glad that I was able to listen to my body and know that maybe, this wasn't the cleanse for me, or the cleanse for me right now.

I'm open to experiementing and I'm glad to be able to have the chance to do that.

I'm realizing more and more that being gluten-free will do me more good than cutting out anything else like fat or sugar or salt like a lot of people might need to do to get to their ideal diet.

Doing the research for gluten-free foods and products can take a lot of time but I consider myself very lucky that I've surrounded myself with people who are either in the same boat or who are willing to support me through that process.

If you think that there is something that you're eating that you shouldn't be, don't hesitate to experiement with taking it out of your diet. The worst things that can happen is that you add it back in.

Not a bad deal!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Figuring it all out...

The funny thing about food is that as soon as you think you've gotten it all figured out, you find out that there is something that you didn't know that ends us being so important.

I've been working on the wheat and gluten thing for a little bit of time now but I keep finding that I'm reacting more and more to different foods that used to be okay for me.

Geez! As if the wheat and gluten weren't enough!

Seriously though, I can feel a difference in my body and in my energy. It's amazing to think how much time I spent feeling not 100% and not knowing why. Sure I could have exercised more, eaten more fruits and vegetables, drank more water and gotten more sleep, but this whole wheat and gluten thing goes deeper than just all of that. Did you know that wheat and gluten is everywhere?

I'm telling myself over and over again that I need to cook more to keep myself healthy. To be honest, I'm okay about it but my problem is a little different than just cooking.

I'm frustrated by not being able to eat anything and everything that I want. I want to be able to just go into a store and know that I can eat, without a reaction, anything I want in that store.

The reality is that I can't.

The real truth is that I'm okay with it but I'm not sure where to start first. With the weather getting warmer, turning to beans and rice just seems too heavy.

SO, fruits and veggies?

Sounds like the best idea so far.

My favorite cookbook so far is "Greens, Glorious Greens." There are just so many incredible recipes and I've only scratched the surface.

I'm also thinking of reenstating my summer smoothie habit. I just can't wait for the weather to get a little bit warmer. As I'm sitting here typing, it's about maybe 60 degrees and raining outside. Definitely not warm enough to start thinking raw.

My next summer experiment is going to be raw meals. Don't get me wrong, I love a good BBQ and I love meat, but there are just some totally yummy raw dishes out there.

If you're in NYC, head down to Pure Food & Wine (or if they'll let you, Pure Juice & Takeaway) and ask for the lasagna. It's made of squash and so yummy. Then again, you could just take a trip down there for the Bunny Brew.

Come to think of it, when the weather gets a little less rainy, I'll also need to take a trip down to Babycakes for my tummy friendly sugar fix. If you're interested, let me know!

I have a lot of experiementing to do. I'm going to be checking out Gluten-free Girl's blog and any other gluten free resources that I can find.

I'll keep you posted!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Experiments in Eating!!!

I love food.

I love everything about food, it's taste (obviously), its smell, it's texture, practically everything.

BUT I have learned that there is one part of food that still doesn't sit well with me, literally.

I have found that as I have learned to eat in a more healthy way, in a way that feels better for my body, I have gotten more sensitive.

Doesn't make sense?

It didn't make sense for the longest time to me either.

Here's the way I think about it.

I used to eat anything I wanted. Since I was very active, it never seemed like a big deal. But once I started studying nutrition and all of the ways that our bodies react to the things we put inside of it, I started to think.

What if, there was a better way for me to eat?

See, my allergies have been just this little annoyance for me. No big deal. Sinuses, same. I'd always be a little warmer than everyone else, so winter was okay for me but sometimes summer could be brutal.

Why do I mention this? I mention it because I honestly feel like all of this manifests itself directly in proportion to the way I eat.

I eat "bad", my allergies, sinus issues, heat problems become blown up out of proportion.

So I started eating more fruits and veggies and wouldn't you know it, I started to feel better. I slept better. I had more energy. My skin cleared itself up and PMS, well that wasn't so much of an issue. Any premenstrual cramps I had disappeared once I decided that milk wasn't doing very much for me. I was happier and healthier and my digestive system ran like a well oiled machine.

BUT and this is a huge but here, all of the benefits that I had stopped at the ones I listed above. I was eating better, but still wasn't where I should be for my body.

Let me make a huge distinction here. I say "My body" specifically because each of us have out own stuff to deal with. My body is different from yours and every one elses on this planet. What may work for me, may not work for you.

There are, however, some universal truths that we can all embrace that will make everyone feel better. Period.

This is where I am taking May.

I eat well but I know I can eat better.

For instance, I've realized that wheat doesn't work for me. My stomach blows up like a Macys Thanksgiving Day parade balloon whenever I eat a "regular" slice of bread, have any sort of pasta and for the most part, baked desserts.

Terrible!

I have learned that I can eat well and even better if I make a few adjustments.

This is what has been working for me so far. I know that this will change as I get older, as the weather changes and as my life situation changes.

So far:

1. Wheat and gluten are no friends of mine.
2. Same goes for milk and most dairy products
3. I still love cheese but I understand that if I want to eat it, I need to deal with the stuffy nose and other consequences afterwards, i.e. it had better be worth it
4. Sugar. Yes I have a sweet tooth, but this needs to be limited to natural sugars, period. My body doesn't like you. My body does like extra dark bitter chocolate.
5. Vegetables are more than just good for you, they are delicious too! Yay kale!
6. Pot liquor! If you don't know what it is, ask or google it. It made my world turn green, in a good way, for a whole day!
7. I love, love, love fruit. Smoothies are the way to go for me, even if they all turn out brown.


There will be plenty more.

My question today is about peanuts and peanut butter. I didn't know that they were or can be classified as a fungus, or react as such. Maybe that's why my tummy protests after some plain peanut butter...

One last word on Gratitude...

As much as I don't want this experiment in gratitude to end, it must because that's just the way things happen. It's been an amazing month and I am really grateful to have been able to share this journey with all of you.

Feel free to post your own reactions to our month of Gratitude. Has it changed anything in your life? Has it changed the way you look at things?

So without further ado, my last day.

Wednesday, April 30th

1. A surprising conversation with an old friend
2. Being where I am, right now
3. 30 whole minutes to myself to just breathe
4. Realizing that maybe peanuts and peanut butter just doesn't work for me
5. Waking up on time and even before my alarm


There you have it. The very last post for the month of April, albeit a few days after...

I'm a busy girl, you know...

As for here, I'm turning May into another experimental month. Perhaps it'll even survive past May.

May is henceforth known as "Experiments in Eating!"